Entry title:
Date / Time : Tuesday, June 2, 2009 / 2:28 PM
ohmygawd. what did i do?! what did i freaking do?! i can't believe this. by the way, if you're thinking that i did something stupid like having sex and then get pregnant, then you're way wrong. (: it's not that serious. i mean ,yeah, he's a whole lot more mature,abit. but it's like he was dying to patch up and then it made me feel guilty about breaking so i agreed just now he asked me why i accept him again, after like a million times of asking for a patch. and i couldn't answer i didn't know how to answer that. i was thinking. WHY? and i didn't know. this is so wrong man very very wrong. well,yeah i was way happy after we broke, but i was tormented by him. of his constant asking.why. and i just get fucked by it. so after a month of being in silence {at last} i start to miss him. i don't know why. maybe it was because we were going out for like many months. it was like he's part of my daily routine. to talk to him after school, almost every waking moment of my life. this is wrong. i think i accepted him cos i couldn't stand being lonely wanted him in my daily routine no. this is the wrong choice. he's trying to make it as if nothing happened and it's bothering me i was totally quiet just now when we were together i didn't say much. i shuddup. i didn't know what to say. everything was different. it felt like everything was like before. but i don't want it to be like before. i don't want to be tied down. i'm limiting my opportunities. NO. urgh. i have to stop this. seriously. it's gonna affect me. real bad. in every single way possible. i am not gonna get distracted and for once, i thank my shitty-ass internet for DC-ing. cos now there's no distraction while i talk to myself over this matter. (: and he tried to make it up to me by buying me bubble tea. -.- i mean, yeah. that's so sweet but. that's shallow. anyways, i have decided already. i'm gonna acknowledge him as my boyfriend but i'm not gonna treat him as one wholeheartedly as in i will treat him nice blahblahblah. but i won't out my heart into it. maybe when the time is right, i'll MIA on him and we'll lose contact and maybe, this will be the end of the relationship. this has been a good talk between myself (:
