i don't feel happy today. so no colours. seriously, i mean like. i really think that the team has more fun together without me. every training that i miss it'll be uber loads of fun. and when i do go for training, it'll be torture 101. and then they'll tell me the next day what they did for training. and i'll be like "oh that's so cool." "what's this?what's that?" and i'll feel like i'm missing out on some great joke. really. then i'll have this mini emo session with myself and they'll start to ask if i'm alright. and i'll give the standard reply. tired. but these few days have really been too much for me. like being sick, missing trainings, class chinese new year decorations. it's all so overwhelming. :( i really can't cope between training and class nonsense already. i have no energy for this. i don't even get enough sleep everyday. how am i suppose to lead people when i can't even manage myself. but i can't just give up my position as vice-chair. cos firstly, i cannot just leave dini and let her fend for herself right. she's even more stressed than me. i have to help her, to control the class. and secondly, i can't drop my position as captain right. that'll be insane. and since most of them trust in me such that they voted for me to be captain, i can't just leave all my responsibilities for my own personal sake. i've got to think of others as well. i cannot be selfish. i have to be responsible for so many people, so many things.i cannot be so irresponsible. my parents already think that i'm irresponsible and totally useless. this is the time when i prove to them and myself that i am capable of leading and managing my time while excelling. i will not give up right now cos it's only the beginning of something freaking great and awesome. i will lead the team well and bring us all to the championships. but first, i've got to get my high/mojo back. it's been gone this whole week. i hope i get an overdose next week :DDD kay. byebye!
~worries aside~